The House of Anon

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This is Elvis when he was expecting. He actually gave birth to a beautiful side of honey ham. This is the House of Anon.

Atariman 4.0: Geez - it's 2008.  Atariman's brain has been formatted at least twice by Redoxian since 2003 and it appears that the images he had previously made weren't perfect.  It appears that moldy cheese is not a particularly reliable type of media, but there was enough to allow Atariman to retain at least 10% of his memories.  Wait... *I'm* Atariman.  Sorry - ever since the last format I've been known to speak in 3rd person.

Well, enough about me - lets see how the rest of us are doing.  Anon has ultimately remained the same, although he was stuck underneath the couch for a number of years, so I strongly suspect this has been a crucial factor in his perfect preservation.  We're not sure how he got there, but I'm guessing it was an attempt to gather more forbidden ingredients for one of his tasty culinary masterpieces.  I'm not sure where he gets the delicious food components, but DANG aren't they delicious.  I swear I STILL TO THIS DAY have a minty flavor in my mouth from the dessert we had over two years ago.

I actually haven't seen Redoxian for a long time.  He was screaming something about a black hole the day he boarded up his bedroom door.  Ever since there has been a constant stream of Boston music eminating from that portion of the house.  The Goat seems to think Redoxian perished after eating something Anon cooked up, but I countered with, "What?  He perished from... DELICIOUSNESS?  Oh, I'm sorry... Or was it... AWESOMENESS INSTEAD?"  The Goat responded with a chuckle (that is, as much as a goat can possibly chuckle), went into his pen, and snacked on a can.

Speaking of The Goat, he actually wound up getting his degree at Harvard.  Apparently he can now practice law - which is a plus considering that our neighbors have grown weary of "helping" with Anon's cooking.  (Apparently some people don't like passing out from fumes.  DELICIOUS fumes.)  We have yet to find a suit that fits him, as he is a goat, and were scolded for letting him poop in the courtroom the last time we "visited" with the neighbors... and their attorney.

And that leaves the crazy guy that lives in the basement... or was it Anon's closet... he moves around so much that I can barely remember.  All I hear is him scrambling in the walls late at night and squealing about Ben and Jerry's.  And, no, he still doesn't have his front teeth (despite the numerous letters sent to Santa claiming that all he wanted for Christmas was... CRAP - suckered into typing lyrics.  You've outsmarted me yet again, crazy guy in the walls!)

Andrew 2.0 says:

[You may think that the House of Anon is quite weird. Well, you are probably thinking right. This website is approximately 123.45 percent absurd. The home not only to Anon, but my own personal side of insanity. So, have fun, but don't expect to understand everything you read. :)]

If the link says UC, it means "under construction." Chances are, these will always say UC, but... eh... whatever.

The House of Anon Staff:
Anon
Redoxian
Atariman
The Goat
Smelly Joe

You'd be surprised at what a large rat is capable of when left in a room of Arby's and spray paint. Ha! Try to vandalize Anon's house now, bastards! Frozen Crack
It was a night like any other night. Anon was in the kitchen cooking up some barbecue flavored cookies, Atariman was contemplating his next date (he got shot down by the way), Goat had Atariman's woman on the phone... Of course, Redoxian was "fine-tuning" the surplus jet engine he recently purchased on ebay... but one of us wasn't doing the same old thing... Smelly Joe was out buying a few groceries with the spare change that he "found" in our wallets (and Anon's underwear drawer) and for once brought back food that didn't resemble sh*t in a bucket. From his indecipherable grunts and random mumbling, we were able to tell that he had found something. He was huddled in the corner... the only words that we could understand were, "precious... my precious..." Of course Redoxian, a die-hard Lord of the Rings fan, thought that Joe had stumbled upon the master ring and wanted to beat the hell out of him and keep it for himself. We then realized that he was eating something... Looking at the side of the container Atariman realized that it was... Ben and Jerry's icecream. Little did anyone realize the pandora's box that was opened in that moment. Soon all other foods paled in comparison to the sweet sweet nectar of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Soon everyone gave up their favorite food. The goat gave up tin cans, Smelly joe quite eating paint chips( Do you mean wall candy?-Joe) Atariman gave up the lusty goodness of that wench little debbie, And anon made casseroles of only ben and jerry's ice cream. Redoxian always the black sheep of the bunch prefers the soothing squishiness of Ben and Jerry's in his boxer shorts. Needless to say Ben and Jerry's will be an integral part of everyones life for some time to come.

Anon is considering adding on to the house thanks to his stimulus check.  Atariman spent his on more crack (which is funny considering that he doesn't do drugs) and Redoxian zapped his check back to the 17th century for reasons unknown to us.  Perhaps he didn't like the feeling that he could suddenly spend his time outside of his room and dealing with real people at a shopping center of some sort.

 In other words, we might have more staff.  If you want to move in, let Atariman know.  He'll let you know when the additional rooms are done and when you can move in.  Redoxian won't slit your throat and steal your stuff.  Atariman has repeatedly stated that this will not happen to anyone more than once.  Or twice.  Which reminds me: In memory of Giggles the Clown: 1953-2008.  May the kids who saw you get attacked by Redoxian be the only ones who forget you.